What I Fear The Most

     My worst fear is losing my mind. Not necessarily going crazy, but losing my sense of reality. I fear that  I'll see things that aren't there, and that I'll hear voices that no one else can hear. It's frightening because it's all in my head. No one else is able to relate to me. No one can help mitigate the nonsense that is going on within my mind. I also fear being confined in the deepest, darkest chambers of my subconscious mind, not being able to tell whether it's reality or not. I'm afraid that my worst thoughts will come to life and make my world a living nightmare. I'd rather be dead, for death is simple; it is short and painless.
     I'm not afraid to die. Mental torture is what gets me. The mind is what makes a person, and if that mind is flawed or lost, so is the person it belongs to. I thrive on my sanity. I don't think much for religion or spiritual stuff because my sanity keeps me from believing so. It makes me who I am. If ever my sanity begins to slip, so will I.
     Have you ever seen those horror movies where the killers mess with a person so badly that it drives them to insanity? That's what I fear. It's the thought of not being present. The thought of being lost. I don't want to go crazy; I don't want to feel insecure. I like contentment: reality. Imagination isn't real, actions are. Dreams aren't real, actual events are. There are differences between real and not real, and the day I lose my sense of reality is the day I lose everything, and that scares me the most.